Why I sometimes feel like giving up-and keep going anyway is because a part of me believes that there is a chance for things to go right; it’s just not yet time.
“Ya retshepisitseng oya Tshepahala” is what I’m clinging to. In other words, we should believe the person who pledged to us.
And despite all of the financial hardships, uncertainty, loneliness, and disappointments I have encountered on this journey called life.
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I always try to find a way to relax when things get tough, so that I don’t fall into despair because no one else will save me. We’ll discuss why I sometimes want to give up but persevere in this article.
The weight of constant struggles
Growing up in Evaton North served as a continual reminder that I must work hard to lay a firm foundation for my future,
‘Its not cool to be a loser. Go to school, graduate, get your own. Because when it’s all said and done, they can say whatever they want to say about you, but they can’t take it from you”
Nicki minaj
Not because the neighborhoods are inherently dangerous, but rather because it is difficult to find positive opportunities and inspiration to nurture young Black women in these areas.
Young minds begin to normalize, if not completely accept, the conditions of the particular area because we become accustomed to witnessing young adults sacrificing their lives to men, alcohol, drugs, and some not prioritizing basic schooling.
And when I finally had the opportunity to align myself with suitable individuals, coming from an appropriate environment. Life always finds a way to bring me back to the hoods where I was trying to flee, even though I have what we call “success cards” (degree, licenses, skill).
Due to my bad luck, I began to feel behind and was constantly reminded that some prevail faster, but I am left with the weight of constant difficulties and unbearable duties.
Maybe, just maybe, my life is destined to be this way, whether by fate or because it is not yet time for me to shine. Even if it appeared that every door I knocked on remained closed. Sometimes feel like giving up-and keep going anyway
When I sometimes feel like giving up-and keep going anyway
Of course, not every element of my journey was bitter and unpleasant; for example, I had the opportunity to leave Evaton North and pursue higher education at North-West University Vaal Campus, which was one chapter in my life that altered my perspective for good.
With the new atmosphere, I was able to observe the lifestyle of people who came from productive environments.
Unlike my township, it was usual for a teenager to own a car, have well-off and educated parents, be well-traveled as a child, or have never used public transport in their lives.
Therefore, with this information, I began to believe that my condition is not a reflection of my future, which is why when I sometimes feel like giving up-and keep going anyway because I don’t have to look back and underestimate where I came from.
Because, at the end of the day, that is what shaped me, but I have an opportunity to make the best of it, no matter how difficult it is.
Motivation is slowly fading away
Because of the difficulties of growing up in a financially disadvantaged household, I have shaped my entire personality and mindset around being a successful young Black woman and acquiring the necessary skills to afford the type of life I want to live.
A life of affordability, in which I will not be concerned about the price of maize meals, the cost of clothing, or, most importantly, where my next income will come from.
And for a long period in my life, this was the only motivation I had to keep pushing and becoming a better version of myself.
But because we plan and only God decides, my plans have always been crushed whenever I attempted.
When I tried several company concepts that failed along the way, when I prepared for interviews, only God knows what happened to the feedback. When I applied to job possibilities where I checked all of the required boxes, I still received an unsatisfactory response.
When I forced myself to participate in friendships and relationships that were intended to be a life lesson rather than a permanent commitment.
And you wonder sometimes feel like giving up-and keep going anyway? It’s because I’m not reaching my goals as quickly as I’d want to, and the inspiration behind the person I want to be is fading away, and the dream is beginning to feel meaningless.
Comparison stage
I have seen people comparing their lives to those of their peers and their social relationships.
Comparing how they have delayed getting their degrees, license, first car, or the first apartment, which is all understandable, seeing other people succeeding in life, and yours is stuck, is quite demotivating.
But with me, it was not about seeing how well people are doing in their lives that broke me. But it was seeing myself not reaching the steps I wanted to climb so badly.
In a better sense, I was comparing the person I want to become to the current person I am in reality.
I don’t know, but I have this internal vision of myself that I want people to see and notice so badly that I started talking less and disappearing in certain places because I felt like I was talking and then executing nothing.
People had no idea that I was battling to accomplish my milestones every day and developing into a positive role model for myself, with the small goals I continued to pursue without success.
The moments that made me want to quit
Aside from the unrealistic expectations I had for myself, what compelled me to want to quit was the realization that, no matter how much I pour, how much good I accomplish, or how much I contribute to the world, if things are destined to fail, they will. I
If it is my season for the world to be unkind to me, that means I have no control over the outcome.
There were times when I would put more effort into getting a job, perfecting my skills, and even modifying my résumé for each and every unique position I was applying for, but I still didn’t get results.
And it seemed like I wasn’t making any effort at all.
No matter how hard I try, life will always find a way to throw terrible things at me.
As a result, I started to believe that being a good girl is completely useless since my efforts go unnoticed.
Why I didn’t quit
I don’t know if you can relate, but the algorithm will find a method to deliver content on your “For You Page” that resonates with you when you’re feeling under the weather.
And while going through a bad season, I saw a video that said, “The dream does not die if the dreamer is still alive.”
Hence, when I sometimes feel like giving up-and keep going anyway, it’s because of that message from anonymous that gave me the impression that today and tomorrow remain opportunities for me to try.
I don’t need the world to believe in me; I only need to believe in myself first. Everything else will fall into place as long as my journey has a clear vision.
And sometimes in life, we don’t have to wait for things to come to us; instead, we have to go get them.
My little victories are what keep me going even when I feel like giving up. Consider it this way;
Why must I wait for a significant occasion to celebrate my wins, no matter how minor they are? What happens if that moment never arrives? I don’t celebrate now?
I avoid situations and individuals that emotionally and mentally exhaust me.
I don’t spend a lot of time in one place; if I get overwhelmed in my home, I go for a walk and buy something little at our local garage.
I take herbal teas like Rooibos tea to help me relax and fall asleep, which helps me stop thinking too much.
Yes, I sometimes feel like giving up-and keep going anyway because I’ve realized that success typically comes after many unnoticed efforts that people rarely see. And just because you feel like quitting does not mean you should.
And if you feel like quitting. Try this instead:
Rest instead of quitting.
When you need assistance, ask for it.
Take one step today.
Believe that today’s hardship isn’t the entire story.
When I sometimes feel like giving up-and keep going anyway, I still have days when giving up seems easier than going. But every time I look back, I realize that I have.
I am aware that I have already conquered obstacles that I previously believed to be impossible. I decide to continue because I think there is still more ahead than behind, not because the path is simple.
Have you ever wanted to give up? What kept you going? Please share your story in the comments section. Do you also sometimes feel like giving up-and keep going anyway?
Frequently asked questions & answers
Why do I feel like giving up?
Feeling like giving up is normal, especially if you have been chasing a goal and not succeeding, or looking for a change, what you need to do is start doing things in a different way.
How do I tell I am mentally ill?
When you start to have difficulties in controlling your moods or depending too much on medication to focus or sleep you should contact your medical doctor.
